The most gendering moment of my youth took place in Pop Warner football when I was in 5^th grade. I had played soccer my entire life and had even made in onto the B team when I hit the competitive level. At that time I was larger than most of my peers so I tended to use my size to my advantage. After one game in which I received a red card for a particularly viscous slide tackle, a youth football coach came up to me. He told me that “I was too much of a man to play a sissy sport like soccer” and requested I come out for his football team. These words were exceptionally biting and I quickly agreed to play. When I finally did play football I found these sexist remarks to be more and more common. It was commonplace for the coaches to threaten us with remarks like “a bunch of girls could do better than that.” Unfortunately this intimidation was incredible effective as the coaches were good men and role models. After 7 years of football I truly feel the effects of this manipulation. It instilled in me the morals typical of a 1950’s generation man. I forever saw soccer as a sissy sport and anything “girly” was to be avoided. I still am weighing and attempting to understand the effects of the gendering I received by my football coaches.

Sharon's Bio

I was grew up in a very traditional family. I lived with my both parents and 2 older sisters until 2 years ago. As I am the youngest in my famly, my family members use all their love to care about me. I grew up in a "girlish" style, like I love play barbies as my sisters influenced me. I have many Barbie dolls and i forget the exact number of barbie that i own. I love to dressed in pink and putting all the decreation that i love to decreate my room. Thus, my room always decreate as pink and orange. I was not an independent people during the time that i live with my family. they take care of my daily lives, I was always to rely to them. however, everything has changed from two years ago.
I moved to L.A on my own. It is because my parents want me to learn independent and finish my further studies. I started my new life in L.A. I need to learn tough, like how to solve the homesick problem, I cannot cry every time that i faced to a big troble. I need to learn not to scare when i was facing an insect. These are because there are no more people could protect me anymore. I cannot act as that girlish and soft. Sometimes I need to learn how to be brave and learn what people labled men stuffs like changing a light bulb.

Allison's Bio

I was raised in a completely traditional household where it was out of line to not follow the typical expectations of a "perfect" family. Girls did the dishes and cooked and cleaned, while the boys did the outer lawn work and the typical "dirty" work. Girls played with barbie dolls and dressed up in princess clothes, while my brother played video games and GI joes. Whenever I asked my mom if I could play video games she would say that it was not lady-like and it would not be a useful skill in my future. Other then that, I had rules about when and what I could do. Both my sister and I had very strict rules, while my brother could basically do whatever he wanted. The girls could not date, but my brother started dating in the sixth grade. My dad was very protective of the girls but had an unspoken trust with my brother. The girls had many more responsibilities like laundry and cleaning the house and we also were expected to get everyone together for dinner. I was responsible for getting everyone ready for church and feeding the pets and getting the trash together, while my brother mowed the lawn. I would beg and plead to my dad to allow me to mow the lawn and he would always say it was too dangerous for me to do. I was always extremely jealous of my brother but yet I accepted the rules my parents made. I definitely think that one day I will most likely raise my family the exact same way. I have such a deep respect for my mom from all this. She is a strong mother and she showed me how to be a true lady.

Esther's Bio

I have always been very “girly” while growing up. I loved wearing dresses and make-up, putting pretty hairpins into my hair, and playing with Barbie. I have an older sister, so I may have been influenced by her, but I have always tended to like pretty things like flowers or sparkly objects. Even when playing with legos, I would make houses with flowers and only use the pink lego-person.

However, as I got older, my mother’s feminist views influenced me. During my mother’s generation in Korea, barely any women went to college--but she did. As a result, she married later than most other girls, and understood that a certain type of maturity came with having an education. She put this mentality into raising both my sister and I. We were to set an ambitious goal after going to college and marrying only after succeeding because that was the way to meeting a great man. Most importantly, we were taught to not allow our gender from preventing us from achieving success. As a violinist, she always compared me to boys and their physique. She always said that I had to work twice as hard compared to a boy because they were stronger physically and mentally. I had to practice longer hours and was not allowed to sacrifice violin to anything because she said that boys were goal-oriented and once they found their passion, they would never give it up--unlike girls. (I’m not sure if that is true, but that was definitely a motivating factor for me) As a result, I worked harder and became more ambitious. Through her I learned that women can become successful, but for a woman to do so, she needs to work harder than men because they are a stronger sex. But, the contradicting lesson was that all my hard work was ultimately to meet a great man to marry. The idea of marriage to my mother is still very much “traditional”, where marriage equals happiness.

Mazy's gender bio

I was raised in a not so traditional household, which really developed my character and personality. My parents divorced when I was two years old and both began dating my stepparents by the time I was three years old, so for as long as I can remember I have had four parents. I never felt as if I missed out on anything because my step parents never treated me as if I was their “stepchild”. When I was younger I used to go to each separate house every other day, so I was unique in that I always saw all four of my parents on a regular basis. As I entered high school I weed every other week at each household. My two separate households had two very different ideas on how to raise a child: one was more old-fashioned and the other wasn’t. However when it came to the activities that I participated it was mostly my decision and my parents were always very supportive. I’m from Hawaii and have dance Hula since I was four years old. Hula is a very traditional and feminine thing, but more than influencing my femininity it affected my deep love of Hawaiian tradition and language. Aside from hula I also played soccer since I was four too. Soccer was my energy outlet and something that I loved to do. I did play many other sports growing up, but soccer and hula were the two that I continued to do for the longest time.
I went through fazes of “girly” and “tomboyish” when I was younger. Up until the third grade, I wore a frilly dress to school every day and loved to get dressed in the morning because my mom let me dress myself. Then I went into a “tomboyish” faze where I only wore t-shirts and soccer shorts to school every day up until the seventh grade. After that I seemed to find a nice middle ground between the two. My parents were very open with me and allowed me to dress and act any way I wanted as long as I was tasteful and respectful. I feel like the freedom they gave me really allowed me to find my true level of femininity, which I have found to be a quite high level of femininity with a feminist strength in me.
I was always taught to stand up for myself. All of my parents pushed me to be strong willed and minded and to never be taken advantage of or stepped on. Their teaching has helped me to be a feminist in the sense that I want to provide for myself and I greatly value my independence. They always pushed me to do the best I could and sent me to the best schools so that I could reach my full potential; never once would they ever allow myself to play second to men, for that strength I am forever grateful. They taught me to be strong, but also taught me to be feminine and to “act like a lady.” My mom and I would go on annual mother daughter vacations where we would just shop and eat for days; I love to go shopping and I definitely appreciate the feminine qualities of a woman.
Its hard to label yourself but I would call myself a “girly-girl” or a “tomboy” I would say that I’ve found a mix of the two that is just perfect for me and I owe it to my parents unique situation and unyielding support in all of my endeavors.

Carmen's Gender Bio

My grandmother was the one who taught me how to be a "lady." As far back as I can remember she would nag me to keep my room "neat and tidy," sit up straight, how to eat soup properly, and how to "respect me elders." My mother never taught me specific things about being a "lady" through conversation so I didn't listen to my grandmother too much. She would tell me that no man would want to marry me if I couldn't keep the house clean. At the dinner table I always had to use my perfect table manners when she was around otherwise she would scold me. She would try to convince me that I needed to learn to cook elaborate dinners while I was still in elementary school so I "could practice for when I had a husband." However my mother never taught me "how to be a lady" in the classic sense that my grandmother tried to. Any manners or skills she taught me were never related back to having a husband. I was only expected to do as many chores and have as many table manners as my younger brother. I learned what it was to be a "girl" from my friends, school, and the music artists I listened too. My biggest influences and role models as a girl were B*witched, Christina Aguilera, Spice Girls, and Britney Spears. All of these artists, besides B*witched, were ultra sexy and inspired my "femininity." I began to want to wear shorter skirts, spaghetti straps, and high heels. I tried to express my gender through my clothing and how I interacted with boys. I already had "5 boyfriends" in preschool so I believe that this also contributed to my feeling feminine. From a very young age I felt sought after by boys and this made me feel attractive and pretty. When I got older I tried to express my femininity not only through my actions towards the opposite sex, but also with how I dressed.

Brenton's Biography

As a child I grew up with both a mother and father, yet as I got older I could no longer depend on my father. I learned very early in my life the importance of providing for one’s family especially as a male. At the age of 15 I had a part-time job and I covered my own expenses. But becoming a male meant more to me than merely working, it meant that all my actions had to have purpose and reflect my gender.
Throughout high school I was actively involved in sports. Although I was not amazingly talented at them I was able to hold my own in varsity level. Varsity sports were a fun experience, but I believe I began “playing my gender” when I began to work out in February of 2009. I met a few people from my work at the gym and since then they had gotten me into one of the hardest workout routines. During the six month course I gained 35 lbs of muscle. Never before in my life had I associated bulking up with being manly but once I had dedicated myself to the task, my outlook changed dramatically.
Overall my life has had many different transitional periods yet I feel that my biggest success to achieving a “male gender” has been my workout routine and the ability to dedicate myself to the large time commitment.