During my childhood, I was pulled in multiple directions concerning my gender identity. Living with my mother and grandparents, I was primarily raised by and therefore influenced by women. At the same time, I seemed to gravitate toward more masculine activities without the need for much prodding. Although my grandfather has always been the primary breadwinner in my family, I always perceived my grandmother as being the leader of the household. My grandfather was more passive, while my grandmother took charge and made all the important decisions. Both my mother and grandmother were and still are very strong willed and refuse to conform to gender stereotypes. I suppose growing up with their influence has just given me a lot of respect for them and for women in general. As far as my activities go, I've always loved do-it-yourself projects, building models and machines and playing video games. I was never particularly interested in action figures or sports. As far as I know, I was never pushed or specifically molded by my parents or grandparents very much. However, my grandfather did always try to get me into playing sports, but I just wasn't interested in it at all. I also liked to read and draw, so I participated in both traditionally masculine and more ambiguous/gender neutral activities. So far, although I do identify very strongly with masculine activities, I also identify with and have a lot of respect for women as well.
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Aaron did not learn the meaning of gender through the traditionally through social institutions. He learned the meaning of gender via his family members who contradicted the stereotypes of gender. He learned that people can have a combination of traits, regardless of their gender. For example, his female role models may not have been the money-makers (as women "should" be) but they were strong-willed and nonconformists. While his grandfather was the bread-winner, as a man "should" be, he was rather passive, a trait normally expected of women. Therefore, Aaron's definitions of gender were more ambiguous because he was not greatly affected by social institutions. His grandfather encouraged him to be play sports as a child because this is considered to be a cultural indicator of "masculinity." However, Aaron did not feel the need to participate in such activities, or play with cultural symbols such as action figures and overtly express his masculinity. Aaron expresses his masculinity through his hard work and success through activities such as video games and do-it-yourself projects.
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