Monday, August 31, 2009
Richa's Gender Bio
I come from an Indian family where a strong distinction between boys and girls has been passed on from our ancestors. My family is extremely strict with this in that the girls of the family are forced to be more conservative and reserved unlike the boys who pretty much have the freedom to do what they want. However, my parents moved to Canada before I was born and thus I was raised in a very different way from my family in India. My brother, sister and I were all raised to believe that men are equal to women however the beliefs from our ancestors were able to trickle down to our immediate family. When I was young, there was no distinction between my friends that were boys and my friends that were girls. The girls obviously had different likes and dislikes than the boys but we all played together as equals. I was never extremely girly but I did do ballet, classical dance and figure skating. Nevertheless, I had many friends that were boys who I got along with as much as I got along with the girls. When I moved to LA however, things changed a bit. I was older and the pressure of being a girl really came down on me. I had to be extremely careful about going out and my parents always had to know who I was going with. This became a bit of a frustration because my brother never had to give an explanation of where he was going when he went out but I did because I was a girl. I was never allowed to have a boyfriend but I was permitted to have friends that were guys. The reasoning behind this was that as women, we shouldn't go out with too many guys because it would appear "slutty." I always found this to be a double standard because all my older boy cousins were permitted to have as many girlfriends as they wanted but none of the girls in my family were permitted to date. The irony of this double standard is that the girls in our family are still expected to go to college and pursue careers. This mentality of the differences between girls and guys will remain in the Indian culture for many years but there are many Indian parents who have grown from this double standard and given their daughters the same treatment they give their sons.
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Your culture definitely affected the whole idea of gender norms with the whole nature vs. nurture debate. Moreso, like many other kids, there was the process of family socialization where the parents would find some things acceptable for boys, but not for girls, and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that our families have a great effect since we basically grew up with those ideas and that has built our foundation to becoming a person/individual.
I find it interesting that the social structures seem to vary according to geographical region. For example, you explained that before moving to LA socialization wasn't as black and white. You were allowed to have friends that were both male and female and in turn you didn't receive much criticism. After moving to LA it seems as though you quickly caught on to a new set of rules pertaining to gender socialization that were different from what you were used to in Canada. Culture seems to play a large role in your gender socialization as well. I have two roommates who are both Muslim (females) and they helped me to understand the double standards that the women of their religion are placed under. They said exactly what you said about how if women were to date other men they are seen as promiscuous whereas men are allowed to pick and choose when and who they want to date. It is interesting to see how deeply rooted gender socialization can be in both culture and religion.
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