Friday, September 4, 2009
Allison's Bio
I was raised in a completely traditional household where it was out of line to not follow the typical expectations of a "perfect" family. Girls did the dishes and cooked and cleaned, while the boys did the outer lawn work and the typical "dirty" work. Girls played with barbie dolls and dressed up in princess clothes, while my brother played video games and GI joes. Whenever I asked my mom if I could play video games she would say that it was not lady-like and it would not be a useful skill in my future. Other then that, I had rules about when and what I could do. Both my sister and I had very strict rules, while my brother could basically do whatever he wanted. The girls could not date, but my brother started dating in the sixth grade. My dad was very protective of the girls but had an unspoken trust with my brother. The girls had many more responsibilities like laundry and cleaning the house and we also were expected to get everyone together for dinner. I was responsible for getting everyone ready for church and feeding the pets and getting the trash together, while my brother mowed the lawn. I would beg and plead to my dad to allow me to mow the lawn and he would always say it was too dangerous for me to do. I was always extremely jealous of my brother but yet I accepted the rules my parents made. I definitely think that one day I will most likely raise my family the exact same way. I have such a deep respect for my mom from all this. She is a strong mother and she showed me how to be a true lady.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMany children have been raised the way you and your siblings were, some in a more extreme way than others, but unlike today's generation, parents believe that there is a big difference between girls and boys. Your parents approach to raising you is an example of anticipatory socialization where your parents forced you and your siblings to behave in a certain way according to your gender. Your mom made you do the dishes and take care of the family which symbolizes what an ideal, domestic housewife would do. In this, your mother was making you ready for the time when you become an adult and are supposed to do these things for your family. In this same way, your father is readying your brother for when he becomes an adult and is supposed to know how to do the manual labor in the family. Furthermore, your parents followed the gender socialization theory but did not realize its limitations such as assuming separate worlds between you and your brother by isolating you from the male world. They also fixed your identity as a girl even though your gender identity will change as you grow older. This method of raising children is not a bad one. You must think this way because even though when explaining your past you seemed hostile, you still mentioned that you would raise your children in this same way. This method is, however, traditional and prevents children from exploring their gender options while also preventing them from "doing" their gender in the way they want. The question now is whether this method is fair to children? Does it give them the freedom they should have? The answer is no because this method constrains a child's choices and perceptions because it already defines the way they are supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely have to say that you're experience with gender roles and identity is a prime example of gender essentialism. Your parents seemed to perpetuate common ideas of women being weaker and men being stronger by virtue of the fact that they allowed your brother to do the more physically demanding chores, and had you do the tasks that were more indicative of a more supportive and nurturing figure - a common attribute usually associated with women.
ReplyDeleteIt's also surprising to me that your parents established such a clear delineation between your roles... almost to the point of being diametrically opposed. Very clear cut and traditional. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it works for some, but it's interesting to me because even such complimentary roles could be established between homosexual couples. For instance, it is a common conception (not necessarily a misconception) that the roles between two men in a relationship are somewhat affixed to the traditional roles of a man and a woman (i.e. one man is more nurturing and emotional while the other is stronger and more of a provider). In this way I feel like even those who challenge conservative views of gender are still somewhat affected by the ideas of gender essentialism. My point being, that you're not alone when it comes to being limited to such essential and traditional roles.
You were clearly "doing gender" all the times you were expected to do the chores that girls your age did such as get everyone ready for dinner and worry about the laundry. Just by completing those duties, you were playing out your role as a girl. As for social institutions that shape gender roles, your family was definitely influential as to how you acted as you were only permitted to do certain tasks they deemed fit for you. While you played with certain toys and did certain chores that the boys did not, you were doing these things because that was what your family insisted from you. I think the fact that you were not allowed to mow the lawn would almost fit the "self-fulfilling prophecy" as it was predetermined that the boys would mow the lawn but when you asked you were told it was too dangerous for you which was only said because you were a girl. Had you been a boy, you would have been eagerly given the lawnmower or told you could not for some other reason, but not because it would be too dangerous because it would be conceived as safe for a boy to mow the lawn. How can the same task, such as mowing the lawn, be safe for one gender and difficult for another especially at such a young age?
ReplyDeleteI believe that Allison's gender bio exemplifies the idea of social constructionism. The way she describes her "traditional household" is similar to the view of the American nuclear family: father and son outside doing yardwork, with mother and daughter in the kitchen making dinner. Her parents' views on dating also goes along with the socially constructed idea that its acceptable for men to date young and as many girls as possible. Furthermore, with Allison's final comment that she will probably raise her family in the same manner, just shows that her entire view of child rearing/family building was influenced by her parents' gender socialization.
ReplyDeletep.s. I think that the part where your brother was allowed to play video games, but you weren't because it was "not a useful skill" in your future was pretty hilarious because I doubt it would be a useful skill in anyone's future, male or female.
Your family really seems to fall in line with the gender norms established by society. While your sister and you were only allowed to play with feminine toys like Barbies and do feminine chores like laundry, your brother was pushed to play with more manly toys like GI Joes and do more manly activities like mowing the lawn. This proves to be a great example of gender attribution, or "defining a person's behaviors through a 'gender lens' of meaning". You and your siblings were all encouraged to follow the typical roles that society places on each gender. This may largely be due to the fact that your parents had children of each gender. In my family, it is only my sister and I. Since my father never had a son, he never had a boy to play ball with or go fishing with. Instead, he introduced my sister and I to such activities to see if we would enjoy them. Though he and my mother did encourage us to dress up and play with Barbies, they also exposed us to other activities that may seem to fit more in the male stereotype. So considering the fact that there was a boy present in your family may present a stronger separation of the male and female activities in your household.
ReplyDelete