Monday, August 31, 2009
Jason's gender bio
I was born into a family that was predominantly female, with only one male cousin and a handful of uncles. Since my parents divorced while I was still very young, the main source of male influence was removed from my life when my mother moved my sister and I from Illinois to California. From that point on, I was raised and influenced greatly by my mother and my other female relatives. I can recall one incident in particular (that I became especially ashamed of) where I was scolded by my grandmother for doing “girly” activities. The story goes: I was staying at my grandmothers house with my mother and sister, and I didn’t feel like watching tv or playing video games. My sister was playing with her doll collection, and she beckoned me over to join her. While we were playing, my grandmother noticed and said to me, “KORA! (a Japanese exclamation equivalent to HEY!) What are you doing! You shouldn’t be playing with dolls, you’re a boy! Dolls are for girls… are you gonna grow up to be a girl?!” As children, we are naturally open to suggestion, and from that point on, I cringed at the thought of playing with dolls because I was afraid of people thinking I was “girly.” Looking back, I find it interesting to believe that the person who instilled the idea of being a “man,” wasn’t even male themselves; but instead, my traditionalist grandmother. So as a result of this incident, which I have never forgotten, I progressively began participating in more “gender appropriate” activities, such as basketball, soccer, and baseball. Although I actively tried to stay away from things that would deem me to be “feminine,” it was inevitable that I would pick up certain qualities from my female relatives, such as the ability to braid hair. And once again remembering the incident with my grandmother, I refrained from telling ANYONE this “feminine-ability.” Including my high school girlfriend, who didn’t find out that I could braid her extremely long hair until around a year and a half into our relationship. Even though I still remember the incident with my grandmother, I have since grown comfortable (for the most part) with any feminine qualities that I might possess and any activities that I might be interested in.
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Hey Jason! I'm really interested in your gender bio because my brother experienced the same thing. The only male influence and role model he has is my father but my father rarely interact with him and take part in the socialization process. So my brother, Kevin, has always been hanging out with me, my mom, and all our other female cousins. He grew up to be a masculine guy but he still possess some feminine qualities. He loves to shop, even more than me, he likes to sing in the shower, he used to cry a lot, etc. Well, the point is I think family and friends have the greatest influence on social constructionism and gender identity more than other factors. Family, our parents, defines our gender and guides us to act appropriate to our gender, while friends&peer pressure forces us to conform with gender norms as we grow up. In your case, your grandmother basically help you establish your gender identity. In a nutshell, I think it's a great thing that my brother has grown up with all the girls and has some feminine qualities. 1 of the limitations of gender socialization is that is assumes females and males as "separate worlds" when in fact they do interact with each other. So in this case, you and my brother can understand both worlds.
ReplyDeletep.s. it's really cool that u can braid someone's hair! ahahahahahah ;p
Your gender biography shows that in this case, nurture rather than nature may have taken over. Many people believe that it is "natural" for boys to be masculine and girls to be feminine. Because you were raised by women, you were drawn to what society has deemed as feminine activities. Your grandmother yelled at you because of the societal structures of gender. She saw that you were playing with dolls and did not see that as a part of your gender role, so she told you to stop. After this, you did not want to do feminine activities even is you were drawn to them because of what your grandmother said. As children, emotional experiences shape who we become, especially ones that are embarrassing. After this incident, you began "doing gender" by playing sports with the boys and doing other activities society has claimed are masculine. Because you lacked a male role model, you followed what the other boys your age were doing. Although you took on society's masculine image, you still see the importance of the female role because of the women who raised you, and this shows how much parenting can shape who you become.
ReplyDeleteIt seems as if Jason "did" gender a little differently as a young child due to the family influences in his life. Even though the only male influence in his life (family life) had left, the female influences seemed determined to set his gender straight. He "did" gender like any child in his situation probably would have and was forever imprinted by the remarks of his grandmother when he wasn't being "gender appropriate." His grandmother seemed to be an essentialist, meaning that she believed the differneces in male and female genders are natural and grounded in biology. This influence carried into his latter life when the social instituions also helped to fulfill the anticipitory socialization that his family laid the foundation for. As he stated once he began to get older and interact with the opposite sex in a romatic way, his "gender appropriate" thinking was more enforced and he was ashamed of any female qualities he might posses. His family and society greatly impacted his masculinity and seemed to make sure that any femenine qualities were not encouraged. It is this view in our culture that males and females are supposed to be so different, and that very different qualities are attributed to the different genders, that shapes our culture into the bigender culture it is. Jason's bio is a perfect example of the gender culture symbols that shaped his life to become "gender appropriate."
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