Monday, August 31, 2009
Carmen's Gender Bio
My grandmother was the one who taught me how to be a "lady." As far back as I can remember she would nag me to keep my room "neat and tidy," sit up straight, how to eat soup properly, and how to "respect me elders." My mother never taught me specific things about being a "lady" through conversation so I didn't listen to my grandmother too much. She would tell me that no man would want to marry me if I couldn't keep the house clean. At the dinner table I always had to use my perfect table manners when she was around otherwise she would scold me. She would try to convince me that I needed to learn to cook elaborate dinners while I was still in elementary school so I "could practice for when I had a husband." However my mother never taught me "how to be a lady" in the classic sense that my grandmother tried to. Any manners or skills she taught me were never related back to having a husband. I was only expected to do as many chores and have as many table manners as my younger brother. I learned what it was to be a "girl" from my friends, school, and the music artists I listened too. My biggest influences and role models as a girl were B*witched, Christina Aguilera, Spice Girls, and Britney Spears. All of these artists, besides B*witched, were ultra sexy and inspired my "femininity." I began to want to wear shorter skirts, spaghetti straps, and high heels. I tried to express my gender through my clothing and how I interacted with boys. I already had "5 boyfriends" in preschool so I believe that this also contributed to my feeling feminine. From a very young age I felt sought after by boys and this made me feel attractive and pretty. When I got older I tried to express my femininity not only through my actions towards the opposite sex, but also with how I dressed.
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I think that this bio clearly exemplifies the presence of gender norms in society. From a young age, Carmen has felt the pressure to express her sex by acting in "proper," feminine ways. As Carmen describes the actions of her mother and grandmother, it becomes apparent that she is a product of the gender socialization theory. The top down theory says that adults instill gender in children, which seems to be what Carmen experienced in her youth. Carmen's bio also brings up another point about the diction in assigning gender. Her grandmother always referred to her as acting like a "lady," not a woman or female. To call someone a "lady" implies even more feminism than to call a person a girl, woman, or female. I can relate to this as my mom always made a clear distinction between calling someone a "woman" or a "lady." A lady was someone who behaved in the feminine and "proper" way. A woman, however, was a simply a female who didn't necessarily epitomize feminism. Another point Carmen brings up is how there was really no room to express any masculinity in her childhood. There seems to have always been a strong influence to display overtly feminine characteristics. Overall, Carmen's bio serves as a very interesting glance at the strong influence of gender norms in modern society.
ReplyDeleteThe actions of the grandmother clearly exemplifies anticipatory socialization. She teaches Carmen to do gender appropriate things defined as being "lady-like", which ultimately is to fulfill the gender role of a woman--to marry a man. This is especially seen as Carmen is taught to cook as early as in elementary school. The grandmother trains her granddaughter to be a woman a man can marry, which the grandmother sees as the ultimate duty of a woman.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, in Carmen's bio, I think that gender socialization, through her role models, seems to have reinforced her grandmother's view of a woman's role in society. Clothing becomes a representation of "femininity" and ultimately a way for someone to feel accepted in society. It seems as though her grandmother and society has made her define herself through the eyes of a man. It brings up the question if she would be 'happy' or feel feminine if she dressed a certain way, and was not accepted by men she associated with. However, through being able to cook, dine, and dress sexy, it legitimizes her "doing gender" and being a female and a woman.
Altogether, this bio proves that through anticipatory socialization and gender socialization, the beliefs a person learns at an early age is imprinted on him or her.
I think it’s interesting that although your grandmother often gave you indications as to how to act like a lady, you admit that you were never one to listen or take her suggestions seriously, especially since the things she told you are pretty much the same things you might have learned from your friends/school (with the exception of always trying to please your husband). Despite this neglect, you found a way to learn about how to act your gender; you admit that you has learned more about “doing gender” from your “friends, school, and the music artists [you] listened to”. This is great example of the sociology of how one learns to perform their gender role. Professor Messner explained a three step methodology of gender; all of which you seemed to have personified. You have learned to “do gender” through interacting with your peers and also from school (a social structure which can both constrain and enable you to express your femininity). You have also used gender cultural symbols to shape your feminine style. These cultural symbols were your role models: Christina Aguilera, Spice Girls, etc, and they, too, “inspired your femininity”.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother and mother always teach me how to act like a lady also, like i cannot say something that is rude, i need to learn the manner of all the time. I cannot do what i want to do as i need to think about other's mind, will they think I;m not a lady? And i also argee with Erin this is what we call the social gender norms. Sometimes, we need to learn about the gender norms in order act what the parents or grandparents want.
ReplyDeletehowever,this is the past tense. Nowadays we are also learning and doing gender though many ways: like the schools, friends, and peer group in order to know the modern gender norms.
Carmen's grandmother seems to be quite old fashion, with a very "traditional" concept of gender roles. The man was supposed to be the bread getter and the woman was just supposed to keep the house tidy, cook dinner, and take care of the children. This old fashion idea of gender was a social cohort of the mid-twentieth century. It actually reminds me of my grandparents because they are from approximately the same generation and they have a similar outlook on gender roles. Her grandmother tried to socialize her to act in a way according to how she views gender. Although Carmen says this did not work because she didn't listen to her grandmother much, I am sure some of it remains in her unconscious. Although family and gender socialization had little impact on Carmen's life, school and gender socialization was a huge part of it. This is what I believe "doing gender" is. She learned how to be girly by doing what she witnessed, watching the Spice Girls and Brittney Spears. Now Carmen tries to express herself by wearing clothes that resemble femininity in our social context.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that you were gendered in so many ways. Your grandmother was a perfect example of someone from an institution, in this case family, who gendered you. It's also interesting that you said that you learned how to be a girl from your friends: an example of doing gender, and at school, which is another institution. Also, it was great that you listed all the cultural symbols that influenced you, such as Britney Spears and the Spice Girls.
ReplyDelete