Margarita Lamas's Post

My parents are total anti-war hippies who do nothing but try to stick it to “the man” whenever they can. They grew up in the “Woodstock” scene where it was all about freedom and being you no matter what people thought. My dad, to this day, has his long shaggy hair and always wears old “vintage” t-shirts and his favorite faded jeans. My mom is pretty much the same way. Having had five kids hasn’t changed them.
My parents had a huge role in my “gendering” and in my lifestyle. Growing up the first thing they did was use gender-neutral colors to dress us. When we came home from the hospital, they dressed all of us in white and we only wore white or black until we were about 1-2, then they let us choose what we wanted to wear. They didn’t second-guess me when I wanted to wear biker boots with my striped purple/orange t-shirt and my blue tweed pleated skirt with black tights. Nope, they didn’t say anything at all, instead they took pictures. They have a scrapbook for each of us. My youngest brother’s is the best. Being the youngest, he wanted to be like the rest of us so he was so excited when he’d get our clothes. His favorite shirt is and will always be (it’s still in his closet) this light orange t-shirt with Rainbow Brite and Starlight on the front. He’s never been able to explain it, he just loves it. (It wasn’t mine by the way; it was my oldest brother’s shirt). His scrapbook has so many pictures of him with that shirt; it was part of his “going out” clothes.
My parents love all our quirks and let us do what we wanted even when it wasn’t “right” for us to do. I took boxing lessons with one of my brothers while another took ballet. People always asked why it was one of the boys taking ballet and not me. My dad said that he wasn’t going to control us; we’re human and have the freedom to do as we please. It’s not to say we didn’t have curfew or rules. We still had chores and homework, but my parents didn’t want us to grow up feeling like we had no choice but to live how we were forced to. We could be gay or lesbian and they would accept us. We could be Jewish or Christian and they would accept us. We could be dancers or politicians and they would accept us. They have made it extremely clear to us that they will accept any choices we make, whether they agree with them or not, as long as we were happy. And that they will be there when the choices we make aren’t the best ones.